The Muckle Hen’s Scratchings

The Hens have got very excited by Lygia Pape’s installation ‘Tteia’ at the Serpentine Gallery, London. In the centre of a darkened room, thin strands of golden wire are strung from ceiling to floor in diagonal blocks and lit from above; forming what appears to be shafts of sunshine criss-crossing the room. This is stunning enough, but what gets even more mesmerising is the mirage effect that occurs when you walk around it. The light strobes very quickly and suddenly it seems that the shafts are  just in front of your fingertips or that you are walking through them.

Interestingly this is a positive use of a well known phenomenon in filming – the fact that close parallel lines will appear to vibrate or buzz on screen.   Basically what is happening is that if the light is flashing fast enough, the image seen during the last flash of light is retained by the eye long enough so that the next image seems to be superimposed on the first. Film relies on this entirely in that it’s what fools us into thinking that a series of still images played in quick succession are actually moving.  But it’s also problematic when someone is wearing clothing with a fine line pattern, which is why we ask you not to wear pin stripes or tweed for film appearances.  Though this leaves the eerie and yet urgent question – why doesn’t David Dickenson simply explode?

We live in hope.

Ok so there’s a chick or cock you fancy at the coop.  He or she might know you exist, a few bits of banter might have been exchanged, but you need to find out if they are single and, importantly if they return your interest. But –  without creating an embarrassing scenario where for months you have to hide behind the nearest pot plant every time they are within ten feet of you.

The big trick is to engineer a less formal situation where subjects like partners,  things in common, likes and dislikes, can come up naturally.  Your mission is to be next to them at a social event – there should be loads of them coming up in the festive season. And should you accept said mission, here are Muckle Hen’s top tips for feathering the nest for romance.

1) Do your research.  Can you be pals with them on facebook? Can you be pals with pals of theirs on facebook, and stalk them incognito? (If you get them to be friends with us at Muckle Hen, we could act as a helpful go-between…) Can you find an office ally who knows them?  You can be casually candid with a friend of theirs – and even if it gets back to them, no-one minds hearing that someone thinks they’re fit.

2) Keep your eyes peeled: Try and be in the same place at the same time.  If there’s a communal coffee room or canteen,  try to synchronise your trip, so that you’re innocently waiting for the kettle to boil together, or standing next to them in the photocopy queue…

3) Have something to talk about prepared  – don’t just improvise and find yourself gabbling endlessly about toner.  Ask their advice about something– this is where research comes in handy.   If you can work in a reference to your ex, that will help them realise that you’re single and what your sexual orientation is. If they respond with their relationship status, then you’re definitely in!

4) Accidentally leave something behind, which they have to bring to you – particularly appropriate in the photocopying scenario.   If it’s something funny or personal like a photograph (but maybe not a photocopy of your arse) that can increase the chances of a connection – and if it has your email or phone number on it, even better!

5) If all else fails, get appallingly drunk at the Christmas party and pin them up against the mistletoe.  Confidence is always attractive.  And if it’s not, you can just deny all knowledge in the new year and  never speak of it again. Your secret is safe with us.

NB. Mucklehen does not accept responsibility for the consequences of any action embarked upon as a result of this blog.

So as the festive season approaches, you’ll be wanting to cook something impressive for a dinner party, won’t you? Something which is both warm comforting and yet exotic and fragrant? Something which you can make most of in advance and then assemble on the day?

What you want is a Bisteeya.  Its a Moroccan layered filo pie – crispy and brown on the outside, filled with a thick layer of delicious spicey chicken, a light centre of lemony herbed scrambled eggs and topped with a sweet cinnamony almond crunch.  Yes it sounds weird –  but I promise you it’s delicious!

Bisteeya
(also known as Pastilla)

Ingredients

For the Chicken layer:
5lbs Chicken parts, on the bone but skinned. Thighs are easiest. (Or use whole pigeons if you’re being really authentic…)
2 cloves garlic, crushed with salt
1 large Spanish onion, peeled and finely chopped
2 slices fresh ginger
2 cinnamon sticks
4oz of butter

For the Egg layer:
a large handful flat leafed parsley
10 eggs
4 tablespoons lemon juice.

For the Almond layer:
4 oz icing sugar
1 lb almonds, toasted and crushed or flaked
2 tsp cinnamon

For the filo pastry casing
½ – ¾ lb filo pastry leaves, defrosted
4 oz melted butter and pastry brush
(If you want to reduce the butter, you can use spray oil instead – its almost easier)

Equipment you’ll need

A 12” shallow cake or roasting tin
A pastry brush

Instructions

1. Put all the Chicken layer ingredients in a large saucepan, with ¾ pint water. Bring to the boil, and simmer away for an hour or so, until the chicken is almost falling off the bone. Lift the meat and cinnamon sticks out and leave to cool.

2. Boil the remaining stock down until there’s about a quarter of a pint left. Add the freshly chopped parsley, lemon juice and eggs and keep stirring while the eggs scramble in the stock and dry out. Plonk this mixture in a colander and allow to drain.

3. Pull the cooled chicken meat off the bones and shred it. You could mix it with more finely chopped parsley or coriander for an extra punch.

4. Mix your toasted almonds with the icing sugar and cinnamon.

Up to this point, you can prepare it all in advance, even the day before.
Remember to defrost the filo leaves in time for the next stage…

5. Now, an hour or two before you’re ready to serve, assemble the pie. This process sounds complicated but it’s actually just fiddly to put into words, not action. Preheat the oven to Gas 7, 220C, 425F. Brush melted butter all around the insides of a 12” shallow cake or roasting tin.

6. Lay a sheet of filo across the tin, so that it covers the whole of the bottom and half of it is hanging over the side. Brush the surface lightly with butter, including the overhanging leaf too to keep it from drying out. Now do another, 6 like this, rotating so you have leaves hanging out round the whole dish.

7. Fold four leaves in half and bake in the oven, just for 30 seconds or so, until brown. Take them out and have them ready.

8. Spoon your chicken mixture into the base of the pie. Place a couple of the baked filo leaves on top.  They’ll probably crack into pieces – no matter. Then layer on the scrambled egg mixture and on top of them, the remaining baked leaves. Now sprinkle the almond & icing sugar mixture over.  Lay a couple more sheets of raw filo on top, lightly buttering the layers and tucking them in at the edges this time. Now fold the outer leaves from around the edge of the pie up and over the top of the pie. Put another couple of sheets on top, buttering each and tucking them in carefully. Now brush the whole pie with the remaining butter and place the pie in the oven and bake for 20 mins.

9. Once it’s looking nice and golden, bring it out temporarily of the oven.  You want to turn the whole thing over in the tin so that the bottom can be cooked.  The best thing is to gently ease it out upside down onto a large plate,  then slide it off the plate and back into the tin. You may need a second set of hands to assist you.  Once it’s secured in place, return it to the oven to brown the base for another 10-20 minutes.

10. Now set the pie back the right way up and if it needs a bit more bronzing, or if when you peek inside, the icing sugar in the almond layer hasn’t fully melted, stick it back in the oven for another 10 mins.

11. Finally place it, almond layer up onto your serving dish and dust with cinnamon and a few toasted almond slivers before serving hot – perhaps with a light salad or amongst a table of arabic dips and vegetables.

The Hens are very excited to be making the films for the new John Gray Centre in Haddington, which will house a museum of East Lothian history, opening in Spring 2012. Working with design consultancy Studio Arc, we will be creating an introductory film with an animated map by David Lemm – whose designs they loved so much, they are going to feature throughout the centre!

The John Gray centre will be to the right of Haddington's town hall

The shoot will be a trip down memory lane for director Hannah Robinson as she grew up in Gifford and Haddington.  Fingers crossed we get good weather for the first week of November, as that’s when we’ll be out filming beautiful East Lothian panoramas – and we don’t want them to be all dour and dreich!

Have you got any favourite screen comedy moments? Having watched John Landis’s Edinburgh comedy BURKE & HARE  last night, and failed to find much to laugh at, I am increasingly fixated on what are the ingredients that make comedy work. Those were decent performances by Andy Serkis and Simon Pegg. And John Landis has been responsible for some classic comedy moments (albeit quite a long time ago). But it just felt too contrived, and I got more involved with looking at the locations than with the characters.

It seems to me to be that comedy is a very tricky thing as it’s about trying to create a sense of surprise, discovery and absurdity in the viewer.  When we laugh out loud at something in our own lives, it’s often something that was unexpected – we fall over, say, which is painful and humiliating – and at the same time we see ourselves in the eyes of others and recognise how ludicrous it looks.  That simultaneous, instantaneous mix of emotions makes us burst out into laughter.

Which brings me to pain. Richard Pryor and maybe also W.C Fields said ‘All humor is rooted in pain’ and it’s true that some of the funniest scenes in movies are ones where people are cruel to others; one of my personal favourites being BOWFINGER’s Steve Martin persuading errand boy Eddie Murphy to run across a 6 lane LA highway for his low budget movie, by convincing him the cars are all driven by stunt drivers. We laugh at how outrageous Steve Martin’s manipulation is, how far he will exploit others to get his movie made; and we simultaneously sympathise with Eddie Murphy’s terrifying ordeal and how gullible and eager to please he is.

The film doesn’t throw away the gag – it spends time laying the foundations, convincing us of the reality of the situation. And if you haven’t seen this movie, (hugely underrated and overlooked – get it out on DVD now!) watching the clip won’t make you laugh as much as if you watch it from the beginning, start to identify with the characters, understand what’s at stake for them and so really believe that they would do what they do. That’s when you can be taken by surprise, because you are so immersed in them getting their goals.

And I reckon that’s what went wrong with BURKE & HARE – the film didn’t spend enough time grounding us in the reality of the time or the characters.  It rushed that bit through with Bill Bailey’s quick intro, and though the set up of the mad old wench being publicly executed looked promising,  from the moment the entire crowd synchronise turning their backs in boredom, we know this is panto, not reality and so we’re never going to really believe or invest.

What do you think? If there’s a funny movie or clip you think we should be watching, click on the comment button below and let’s start a discussion!